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Humor : That’s how the fight started…

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When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take

her someplace expensive.....so, I took her to a gas station.....

And that's how the fight started....




*********************************************************



I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light

for $14.95.

Instead, she bought a jarof cold  cream for $7.95. 

I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.

And that's how the fight started.



************************************************************************

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to

apply for Social Security.  The woman behind the counter asked me for my

driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I

had

left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I

would

have to go home and come back later. The woman said, 'Unbutton your

shirt'.

So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That

silver

hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social

Security application. When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my

experience at

the Social Security office. She said, ‘You should have dropped your pants.

You might have gotten
 disability, too'.

And that's how the fight started.....



***********************************************************************

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school

reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she

sat

alone at a nearby table. My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'

'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she

took to

drinking right after

we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober

since.' 'My God!'  says my wife, 'Who would think a person

could go on

celebrating that long?'

And that’s how the fight started.....



***********************************************************************

I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were

alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You

know how

sometimes you just  get soooo stressed and little things just seem

funny?
Yeah,
well I couldn’t  believe it…. he was a DWARF!!! He stormed over to my
car,
looked up at me,  and shouted, ‘I AM NOT HAPPY!!!’ So, I looked down
at him and said, ‘Well, then which one of the seven  are you?’
And that’s how the fight started…..

************************************************************************
I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some
reason, took my order first. ‘I’ll have the strip steak, medium rare,
please.’ He said, ‘Aren’t you worried about the mad cow?’
‘Nah, she can order for herself.’
And that’s how the fight started…..

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